If you are reading this article you are probably what I call an "Unconventional Creative." You may not even know you are one of these creative people if you look traditional on the outside. Oftentimes the Unconventionally Creative have been judged or told their ideas or perspectives are odd, wrong or implausible. You may doubt yourself.
Unconventional Creatives are often late bloomers because they march to a different drummer.
Think Back: When you were younger you may have embraced your unique qualities and simply enjoyed them.
Take my young neighbor friend, Lila. She's 11 years-old and un-self-consciously in touch with her individuality. Her gene pool is a unique combo of three very different cultures-middle eastern and Scandinavian-she's world traveled, very articulate, she knows what she likes, what she's good at and she's in touch with her dreams for the future. Yet she's still a delightful, sometimes observant, very sweet, seemingly shy, pre-adolescent girl.
Think Back: Your younger uniqueness, quirky interests and curiosity probably fed what we call your passions. Passions-when appropriately supported and guided-can flow into and develop into lifelong dreams, activities, relationships and professions.
Right now its obvious Lila loves animals and wants to become an interior designer. Recently she was forthright, confident and spot-on as she gave me feedback about color choice for a counter top I am considering for my new office! She spoke and interacted with my need for feedback much as one of my adult women friends or an interior designer would respond.
Think Back: How were your unique characteristics and interests supported, encouraged and guided when you were younger? Who have been your mentors and guides through the years? Who do you turn to for support now?
Lila's dreams and individuality have been supported and encouraged by the adults in her life. She is provided many resources, a vast array of people and exposure to many unique experiences that have fed her creativity, developed her confidence and curiosity about the world.
All this uniqueness and quirkiness are aspects of her individuality. And at this age she fully embraces it! If her individuality is not hindered, and if her dreams continue to be guided and supported by the adults in her world as they are now, Lila will confidently do well in her adulthood.
Studies have shown that preadolescence is a time when you fully embrace your individuality, if it's not been tampered with, judged, putdown, squelched or squashed.
Think Back:
You may have retained and developed your uniqueness: What has helped you to do so and how does it show in your life today? Are you fully shining your unique gifts into the world? If not, what's in your way?You may have felt the need to hide your uniqueness under a bushel basket and keep it private so no one will judge, squash or squelch it: As an adult are you still hiding it? How do you handle it when people judge your uniqueness today? What support do you need to become as unique as you truly are-to shine your gifts fully into the world?You may not have felt the support and freedom to be your self, even when young: If so you may still struggle with self-doubt or deny you are competent, capable, creative and gifted. If so, it's important not to buy into this falsehood. It's time to reach out and get support to uncover your unique gifts!It's never too late to embrace your uniqueness, individuality and quirkiness:
In fact I encourage you to do so. It's your job.
Like I told Barb the other day during our coaching session, "It's your job to uncover and discover and develop your unique individuality! It is never too late."
Barb's coming out of a verbally judgmental and unsupportive long term marriage. She was also unsupported in many ways during her growing up years. Yet she has quietly developed as a leader in her profession and is highly valued and supported by her superiors. Her pattern has been to quietly hide her goals and dreams to protect them-which is a good thing in negative circumstances. At least she doesn't give up on them! On the other hand she's at a point in her life where it leaves her feeling isolated, lonely, and fearful of her future. And she's ready to come out of hiding.
Find people who validate your uniqueness and individuality.
As I validated Barb's unique talents, she quickly brightened and sat up more confidently. I simply highlighted her gifts and the dreams for a future she has safely kept close to her heart.
All of her current dreams are very do-able! She just needs to connect with like-minded people, develop a step-by-step plan and create a support system to help her as she steps into the coming 1 -2 years post divorce.
Barb's had very specific dreams and desires to "retire" at 50, go back to school and start a whole new career that builds on the expertise of her current job. In her marriage, Barb's interests were judged as bad or wrong. She learned to not feel okay or proud of herself. Yet she knows what she enjoys doing in her spare time. She simply needs like-minded people to share in a social life doing things she enjoys.
Now she wants to embrace her uniqueness. It fuels her passions and will help her achieve her goals.
Your individuality is at the root of your creativity. It's where you'll find the seeds of your unique passions. These passions, interests, curiosities are clues to the future you long to create.
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