People who take part in my three month With Life in Mind programmes often join because they've connected with my messages about taking care of their mental wellbeing following change and transition. From having a baby to dealing with retirement, from the break up of a long term relationship to recovering from serious illness, we all experience major changes at different times which can have a big impact for some considerable time afterwards.
The Change Curve
In workshops I often talk about the Kubler-Ross Change Curve because it illustrates how we typically go through different stages in response to change. Originally developed from research into the grief cycle by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, the Change Curve really helps people understand that there is a process, and see how difficulties usually occur when we get stuck somewhere on that cycle and need some extra support or guidance.
Here's a very simple story to demonstrate how I went through all these stages in one day.
Last winter I woke up one morning to a thick layering of snow everywhere. I was due to travel over to the Isle of Wight from Portsmouth to do some research interviews. Once I got over the 'initial shock' I stayed in 'denial' that this was going to affect my plans for the day. I rang taxis, the ferry companies and bus services trying to find out how I could travel and eventually realised that nothing much was moving. I then felt very 'frustrated' - this meant I would lose earnings as I work on a freelance basis, and I couldn't understand why everything seemed to have come to a halt. Soon after that I became 'depressed' about the wasted day, I couldn't think what else I would do, it all seemed rather pointless and not worth the effort. After a while I did start to 'experiment' and try doing some other things, then I decided how I would spend the rest of the day and got on with it. By the end of the day I had 'integrated' the change - I was pleased with what I had achieved because if I had gone to the Isle of Wight I wouldn't have had the time to do it.
Now it is possible that I might have stayed in 'frustrated', 'depressed' or 'experimenting' mode for much longer. I could have spent the rest of the week feeling hard done by. If I had been feeling particularly vulnerable because of other much more serious changes I'd experienced, it might have left me feeling very low, dwelling on how I was a victim of circumstance and continually knocked back by life.
In this example I noticed how I went through the Change Curve in virtually text book fashion, and it helped me realise how continual the cycle of change is in all our lives. By understanding and working on our mental wellbeing, just as we do our physical health, we can strengthen our emotional resilience in dealing with change. And by noticing the signs of being stuck somewhere on that Change Curve, we can recognise when it's time to get the help and support we need to move on.
Carolyn Barber, Bsc (Hons), CQSW, is the founder of Wayfinder Associates, a social care training and consultancy business specialising in team development, independent supervision and staff wellbeing. As a serial social entrepreneur, Carolyn has developed community based programmes to promote understanding of mental wellbeing using positive solution focused approaches.
Carolyn has over 30 years experience in social care as practitioner, trainer, researcher and manager, working across public, voluntary and independent sectors.
GSCC registration no: 1074227
Linked In profile: http://uk.linkedin.com/in/carolynbarber
For more information about Take Five wellbeing resources and programmes, go to http://www.meetrelaxlearncreate.co.uk/
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